Too Big to Ignore

I was eating lunch in the employee kitchen today and there was an issue of Us Weekly on the table so I flipped though it. It was lamer than anticipated, but what caught my attention was a segment about which stars admire which other stars. On page 76 of the September 4, 2006 issue, Lisa Rinna reveals that she admires Madonna’s “buff bod.” I looked at their photos side by side, and they look like a pair of female impersonators, like skinny men in drag. Is that what our popular culture has come to? That the slightest hint of womanly softness and suppleness is fat and ugly? That the pinnacle of feminine beauty is to look like an underfed, strung out man in a dress? Seriously, Madonna practically has an adam’s apple, and Rinna’s jaw line looks like it could split logs. Even cleavage has been cast out of the spotlight because the image of breasts touching looks fat or flabby. Make no mistake, big boobs are still “in,” but now they appear as hard, separated floating orbs, leaving exposed lumpy, bony sternums in lingerie ads, on the red carpet, and all along Rodeo Drive.

Our sisters of the seventies strapped on combat boots and stomped their happy asses out of their kitchens and right out into the street talking all kinds of craziness that no one wanted to deal with in contemporary civil discourse. They quit shaving and flipped the bird at the rigid standards of beauty. Because of them, women in the West now have a lot more flexibility in their dress, conduct, and demeanor.

As a direct result, the subject of beauty standards has been deconstructed to death in the last thirty-some years, which begs the question, WHY are women still such slaves to representation? I know it’s tough to just get over it, but really, let’s do already! Forgive me for speaking such heresy in “post-feminist” America, but it seems to me this phenomenon might have something to do with the “male gaze.” But not a male gaze in the traditional sense….

Now it is women who hold positions of power in fashion design and marketing, magazines, TV, and even smut publications. Oddly enough, it seems like the women in power are usurping the male gaze and wielding it against their sisters. Our popular culture is once again embracing strict ideals, but this time with a definite pornographic sensibility. Somehow this imagery is validated by the fact that women are choosing to produce and sell the images.

Now, we take it for granted that we can refuse to be manipulated by male dominated media representations, but we are caught off guard and are more easily swayed when we feel the pressure coming from other women. We are accustomed to, and less threatened by, women telling us what to wear, what interests to have, how to dress to please a man. The women executives who stand to gain financially are exploiting the trust that we women have with each other in our boys vs. girls world. Ironically, our male counterparts that were also raised on basic feminist tenets (“women are people, not things,” etc.) are now less likely to be as invested in the typical standards of beauty as the men of previous eras; the joke is on us.

The more serious question to consider is this: How can we stand against The Man as sisters, when The Man is a sister? Oprah Winfrey, self/fat-hating richest woman in the world; Christine Hefner, CEO of Playboy Enterprises; Kate White, Editor in Chief of Cosmo; etc. Have we reduced ourselves to madams and hoes? Or can we literally, as well as figuratively, bounce these images from the nucleus of our pop culture?

I like to think so. I am encouraged by the new laws imposed on fashion shows in Madrid, Spain in regard to the health of their models. An article published online from the International Herald Tribune, Europe, explains that Milan is eager to follow suit. Those quoted in the piece as opposing the law are Modeling agency owner Ricardo Gay, and chairman of the Italian National Chamber of Fashion Mario Boselli. Gay is upset because these laws would mean that 80% (!) of his fashion models would be eliminated, and Boselli was quoted as saying that nowadays, anorexic models are virtually non-existent. It is common knowledge that the majority of models are underweight, but now we’re supposed to believe that it is not due to eating disorders. Should we also believe that the world is flat, or that women ARE less intelligent than men?

It seems to me we haven’t come so far in our recovery from male dominance. Many times, when a woman has been mistreated, she attempts to gain control of her pain by continuing to reproduce it. This is what I see happening with the male gaze; women are striving to prove they are in control of it by gaining mastery over their bodies, whether through food restriction rituals, surgical procedures, or cosmetics. Then, when we don't see the results we want, we often despise or punish ourselves for “failing.”

Second Wave feminists have been criticized heavily for crying victimhood at the hands of patriarchy, and third wave feminists have a point about how we should instead take credit for how far we really have come compared to more repressive times in Western culture. But psychologically speaking, we are still operating under a victim mentality by choosing to victimize ourselves and other women. Instead of celebrating the demise of patriarchy as we formerly knew it, we’re holding a place at the table for it, just in case it storms in hungry wanting dinner.

We need more women like the ones in Spain—women in powerful positions choosing to make their world more woman friendly, instead of taking advantage of their positions to profit from our insecurities. It is not enough that we have “tough” women in the three branches of government, on television, and in the corporate boardrooms because, unfortunately, most of them are working for their own agenda to achieve status, power, fame, and money. What we need are more women who are willing to take responsibility for how we live as women, and for the legacy we pass on to our younger sisters. I strive toward this goal in everything I do. I have a voice. And I am too big to ignore.