Saturday, October 22, 2011

My Happy is Broke

I really love autumn in Minnesota, so why doesn't my body?? I've been sleeping 7-8 hours per night during the week & 10 on weekends. I've been pumping my bloodstream with 15K ui of Vitamin D per week and taking multis on top of that. I've cut back on caffeine. I have been keeping my work hours under 50. I get outside & do physical activity on the weekends. I bought a fancy new phone. I wear comfortable shoes. SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM?!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Because I Dare Not Say it Out Loud...

I'm sitting at Ginelli's eating my lunch, eavesdropping as usual. The 50 year old dude next to me is whining about how his parents favor his brother. Hasn't he had 30 years of adulthood to get over that? I suppose if you're 50 & still concerned with who gets more love from your parents you're not going to recognize that this might be the reason WHY they like you less.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Occupy a Foot in Their Ass

Call me cynical, but these Occupy & 99% demonstrations protesting "Corporate Greed" are missing the mark. The only thing they are demonstrating is their ability to paint a million and one picket signs. They have no agenda, and the only threat is that if we don't pay attention to them they're gonna stand around & yell some more.

First of all, how is a disjointed mob of people going to stop "Corporate Greed"? Their million & one painted signs have lots of slogans where they should have demands. None of this occupying of public space is going to throw the proverbial monkeywrench in the churning cogs of capitalism.

To hear the talking heads at Fox refer to this phenomena as "class warfare" is absolutely ludicrous. Let's be clear: class warfare is the motherfucking French revolution. Heads literally rolling in the blood-soaked streets. These protests are just giant bitch sessions. Cathartic as they are for those participating, the refrain from the 1% & their payroll politicians is, "I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one!"

Protests are supposed to stand as the warning for "give us what we want or else". Or else what?? What DO we want? What are we willing to sacrifice to get it?? Civil disobedience will not persuade lawmakers to legislate jack shit. Except maybe new restrictions on our first amendment rights.

The organizers & demonstrators are missing the elephant in the room - pun intended. Corporations, and the wealthy leaders who run them, respond only to the almighty dollar. Ironically, the dollar that made them strong is also their Achilles heel. The MARKET drives change, and WE ARE THE CONSUMERS.

Women's "liberation" (a loaded term, but I won't digress) was driven as much by pissed off man-haters with hairy armpits practicing "consciousness-raising" by lookin at their hoo-hoos as it was by consumerism. Advertisers figured out that it was mainly women who had the control over household spending and started marketing goods and services directly to them. This increased their power in the market which increased their power in the public sphere.

To continue on this train of thought, I firmly believe that we can still derive social power from where we spend our money. Or, more specifically, where we DON'T spend it. Consider what would happen if everyone got out of debt & closed ALL their credit accounts.

The banks would be left scrambling. They would no longer be able to justify consumer interest rates of 25% when the fed funds rate remains below 0.25%. Right now revolving credit is way too easy to get so those of us who are carrying balances & making our payments are covering all the losses from the defaulters. Then they make money again by selling the bad debt off to the lowest bidder to collect on. They are actually profiting MORE by lending to high risk consumers. They WANT us to fail!

I say fuck them. I am going to pay off all this revolving credit, my car loan, and my student loans if it kills me. After that, I'm only going to spend money I already earned. I'm sick of forking over huge chunks of my hard-earned cash to huge institutions who don't deserve it.

And what would happen if most of the US did that? I think this could quickly shift the balance of power because if we start by strangling the banks of their lifeblood & stop pumping money that we DON'T HAVE into the economy, we can limit the upward accumulation of wealth.

I dare you to tune out the talking heads, ignore the polarizing rhetoric, and turn your attention to whatever is making your financial life chaos. Yes, it's probably their fault we're in this position but no one is forcing us to stay here.

We CAN hit them where it hurts and drive the changes we need if we are willing to make sacrifices. Not the painful sacrifices like medicare, social security, & public education that the mega-rich are calling for. Make sacrifices that will actually benefit you and your family: quit throwing money away (smoking, drinking, eating out, gambling), trade the car in for a cheaper model, take on a roommate to help with the mortgage & bills, pair up with a friend who works an opposite shift & swap kids to save on daycare, carpool or bus to work, fix up your old stuff instead of buying new stuff, or even buy someone else's stuff.

I realize it is not politically correct to encourage further contraction of the economy by slowing our spending, but it should be obvious that the strength of our economy is exaggerated. We're out there earnestly spending money we haven't even earned yet trying to keep this ship afloat. Meanwhile we are slipping further & further behind as inflation is driving real wages down, and jobs are being eliminated by the hundreds of thousands. If our massive spending hasn't saved the economy by now it's just not going to.

If we are conscientious about where we spend the money we do have, the right kinds of businesses will thrive; organic farmers, small businesses, companies who treat their employees fairly, environmentally responsible manufacturers, and alternative energy providers. The dinosaurs will either adapt or go extinct.

By each of us doing what's right for our communities, ourselves, & our families we could turn the tide in ONE generation - and without having to carry a single picket sign!!

Monday, October 03, 2011

Gastric Band & Gastric Bypass for the Do-It-Yourself-er On a Budget*

Step 1: obtain tummy control shapewear & wear daily

Step 2: throughout the day consume foods that give you a slight case of gas buildup in the stomach. Diet soda, broccoli, slightly under-ripe bananas, beans, etc.

Step 3: eat meals in a sitting position. If you have done this correctly, you will find it difficult to consume an entire meal.

Repeat daily or as often as desired.

For bypass, repeat steps 1-4 and add two fiber gummies daily. Warning: you must also increase your water intake and supplement vitamins & minerals.

*Not intended as medical advice. This post is intended solely for entertainment purposes... It entertains me to give you a stomach ache.