Monday, October 03, 2011

Gastric Band & Gastric Bypass for the Do-It-Yourself-er On a Budget*

Step 1: obtain tummy control shapewear & wear daily

Step 2: throughout the day consume foods that give you a slight case of gas buildup in the stomach. Diet soda, broccoli, slightly under-ripe bananas, beans, etc.

Step 3: eat meals in a sitting position. If you have done this correctly, you will find it difficult to consume an entire meal.

Repeat daily or as often as desired.

For bypass, repeat steps 1-4 and add two fiber gummies daily. Warning: you must also increase your water intake and supplement vitamins & minerals.

*Not intended as medical advice. This post is intended solely for entertainment purposes... It entertains me to give you a stomach ache.

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