Arg! That tiny little bitch-face is driving me crazy!
At the end of last week she decided she wanted me to be her best friend. When she’s trying to be nice, she talks a mile a minute and is all fluttery and I can’t get a word in edgewise. I just sit there looking quizzically at her nodding and saying “uh-huh” a lot, then she flits away. I had to put up with a whole day of this, it was ridiculous.
Then Monday came and she was running hot-and-cold, and it’s lasted all week. It’s totally throwing me off. She’s either artificial saccharine-sweet or the fucking ice queen. I don’t know how she manages to have so much going on inside of her teeny bird brain to swing her moods around so dramatically. I bet she’s a Gemini—no, that can’t be right because I always click well with Geminis. Oooh, I bet she’s a nasty Scorpio… Anyway, why the fuck do I care, I’m not going to be sending HER a fucking birthday card.
I’m just bitching because about ten minutes ago some dude came in and said he was a friend of the company president and he just wanted to poke his head in her office. Before I really had time to stage an objection, he was down the hall. He peeked in, found out the pres is out and left. Not a minute later I hear a really quick-tempo clomp-clomp-clomping, and I look up to see little black scissor legs slicing up the corridor. Twiggy was in a total wide-eyed tizzy and was giving me the spiel about not letting people walk through the office, something could go missing and she’d be liable, the sky is falling, god is coming to strike you down. He nose was flared out and I noticed she had a tiny booger suspended in the hairs of her right nostril.
The bright side is that she is on vacation for the first three days of next week, and today I’m leaving early! One more hour and I will be free of that insufferable little sparrow-person until Thursday, mwah-ha-ha-ha!
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