Pet Peeves

I generally don't like to have too many peeves as pets, but this time of year they seem to be running rampant.

For instance, I live in Minnesota...where it's freezing cold...and it snows. Every other citizen drives a 4wd SUV. Yet when the snow starts coming down, everyone freaks out. Like yesterday, it snowed maybe three to four inches and all of downtown was brought to a screeching halt. When I got to my bus stop there were like 250 people piled up on the sidewalk and huddled in building entryways, and not one single bus came for 45 minutes (normally there is one every single minute during rush hour), and traffic was almost stopped. Then, slowly, a few busses started coming down the road, but they were so packed full they couldn't fit anymore people and just drove on past. And MY BUS?? It was TWO HOURS late. Are you KIDDING me??!!!

Jesus H Cripes. I get it that weather causes delays, but two hours? Come on, that's just poor city planning. Is it too much to ask for bus only lanes that will just shoot straight through the DT zone? Yes, of course it is because that would interfere with ability of selfish single car drivers to get through town in first gear polluting the shit out of the environment. Assholes! I am still overcome with the urge to go on a sub-zero car-egging spree. The lesson won't be apparent, but I will smile inside as I see them driving around with frozen egg that'll be there till fucking spring.

My other pet peeves are mass-commuter related. It's about consideration, y'all!
Weird lady in pink stirrup panst: If you are crammed up against someone, resist the urge to squirm and fidget--that's just nasty! I don't want to know if you have panty-crickets and a rash, SIT STILL.

Mr. Busdriver: I realize your job is low-status and frustrating, but you've got a cake route driving us downtown commuters. No drunks, no bums, no armed teenage riff-raff. So how about being nice to riders? I know you think you ARE being nice, but your condescension is thinly veiled. Yes, probably every rider on this bitch makes a better living than you, but you don't have to be an ass and tell everyone "Good job! Good Job!" as they swipe their cards across the touch-and-go.

Tall fat creepy guy who looks like a kiddie-porn fiend: For the love of God buy some clothes that fit across your protruding belly. Everyone can see that furry shit hanging out from under your jacket whose zipper is straining FAR beyond what it was designed to handle. I'm surprised you haven't gottent frostbit there yet.

Mr. Busy-guy: Keep it down over there! The less I know about your personal life the happier I am. This bus ride only lasts 15 minutes, ya think that call could WAIT? Not one of our lives has been made better knowing what your new girlfriend and her pals wants to do for her birthday.

Mouse-y blond chick: Are you aware that you have not altered your wardrobe in about FIFTEEN years? Which is probably about how long ago you graduated high school... Even I--queen of underdressing for work--know that you cannot wear cotton MC Hammer pants to work. ESPECIALLY if you're going to TUCK THE HEMS INTO YOUR WHITE SPORT SOCKS. With sneakers. Topped with a black suede jacket five sizes too big with football player shoulder pads and a tapered hem. The dinky leather backpack purse is a nice venture forward, but unfortunately it will only get you so far, 1997 to be exact. That Cost Cutters bob haircut is ALMOST art-house chic, with no layers and severe bangs... Mmmm, no.

Middle-class white lady: Get your goddamn tote bag OUT of my face, it smells like mildew.

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE KEEP DRIVING TO WORK DOWNTOWN AND MAKING MY BUS TWO HOURS LATE!