I have had a cruddy day. First thing this morning I got a bad news call from mom saying that grandma is in the hospital and she's got everything under the sun wrong with her. She's been smoking a pack a day her whole life and she hates the doctor, so of course she's in bad shape: growths on her lungs, one of which has partially collapsed, congestive heart failure, an aneurism in an artery somewhere, she's malnourished and 86 pounds, low blood pressure, and she's on a nebulizer. Obviously my day was no where near as bad as Gram's, but I'm worried about her and my mom since she's the only person taking responsibility for Gram's care.
Right after I found out I started yelling at Hubby because he smokes a LOT. I was just really pissed off that this can repeat itself again and again in my life: my hubby, my mom, my sister, my brother. They're all standing in line to get buried with black whithered lungs and yellow fingernails. It's foolish to take it personally, but I still can't help but be mad at hubby because he's going to leave me all alone for the last 20 years of my life and buried in medical bills. It's just not fucking fair.
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