The Newtown, CT shooting stuff is getting to me. Instead of going down the path of "Life's a bitch and then you die; fuck the world, let's get high", I'm going instead to "Life's a bitch and then you die; fuck the world, let's watch cat videos on YouTube." Meantime, the hubby is on the beer train to Sentimental Town.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Some mean shit I wrote
So I was perusing the Bookface, as I am wont to do, and one of my friends liked or commented on a photo of a plus-sized model, Tara Lynn something, so I felt obliged to check it out. This was not the best idea. I guess I was expecting it to be some sort of chick-friendly, empowering type of page... but no, it was one of those pages that are just full of random crap that thousands of people follow for reasons mystifying to me. Instead of people saying awesome things about different ways to be beautiful people were slinging snide shit from top to bottom. It made me so mad I felt like reaming someone out. So I let them have it:
"I'll admit I'm surprised - though I know I shouldn't be - that the vast majority of you adult men and women are unable to appreciate beauty in any other form than what is being marketed to you as a consumer. Most of the comments on this thread have left me heartsick with disgust at your callous rhetoric. My only comfort is knowing that whatever terrible things you have decided are true of this figure, you have also decided are true of yourself; you have given yourself no room to self-actualize because you have committed yourself to an impossible standard of beauty. Your body and soul will never be united, you will be forever conflicted. I, however, am able to appreciate a diverse spectrum of beauty, and I am able to see those facets of beauty reflected in myself. I know this blurb will not reach through the negative, jangling, cacophony that fills your thoughtless minds, but I feel better having expressed my disdain for your vapid discourse."
"I'll admit I'm surprised - though I know I shouldn't be - that the vast majority of you adult men and women are unable to appreciate beauty in any other form than what is being marketed to you as a consumer. Most of the comments on this thread have left me heartsick with disgust at your callous rhetoric. My only comfort is knowing that whatever terrible things you have decided are true of this figure, you have also decided are true of yourself; you have given yourself no room to self-actualize because you have committed yourself to an impossible standard of beauty. Your body and soul will never be united, you will be forever conflicted. I, however, am able to appreciate a diverse spectrum of beauty, and I am able to see those facets of beauty reflected in myself. I know this blurb will not reach through the negative, jangling, cacophony that fills your thoughtless minds, but I feel better having expressed my disdain for your vapid discourse."
Saturday, December 08, 2012
Recent strange dreams
Dream 1:
Utterly terrifying dream of dying. I was a passenger in a little red hatchback and my friend's mom was the driver. There was a giant sink hole that had appeared in my neighborhood and we had just narrowly missed driving into it due to the road being washed out, but as we rounded another curve she didn't have with enough time to react and we went over the edge of the 30-or-so story pit. Instead of waking up, I felt the freefall and watched the ground rushing up at me. I squeezed my eyes shut and said "I don't want to know!" (what it's like to die). In an instant I felt weightless and rising. It was quiet. Then I heard my own heavy breathing and realized I'd woken up. I had a really hard time going back to sleep.
Dream 2:
I was eating a "Cyborg Burger: nutrition and nanotechnology in one". Did a fast food joint figure out how to produce food with no nutrition that makes the body believe it's being nourished? Or was it made of products we normally can't digest so the little nanos do it? Scary I idea.
Utterly terrifying dream of dying. I was a passenger in a little red hatchback and my friend's mom was the driver. There was a giant sink hole that had appeared in my neighborhood and we had just narrowly missed driving into it due to the road being washed out, but as we rounded another curve she didn't have with enough time to react and we went over the edge of the 30-or-so story pit. Instead of waking up, I felt the freefall and watched the ground rushing up at me. I squeezed my eyes shut and said "I don't want to know!" (what it's like to die). In an instant I felt weightless and rising. It was quiet. Then I heard my own heavy breathing and realized I'd woken up. I had a really hard time going back to sleep.
Dream 2:
I was eating a "Cyborg Burger: nutrition and nanotechnology in one". Did a fast food joint figure out how to produce food with no nutrition that makes the body believe it's being nourished? Or was it made of products we normally can't digest so the little nanos do it? Scary I idea.
Sunday, December 02, 2012
What do I want?!
I just have to put this out into the Universe: I want a career doing something I love. That's not to say that I know what I want to do. There's lots of things I love. I love blogging, traveling, crafting, painting, sleeping... Out of all those things I'm really only good at sleeping.
The reason I want to put this notion out into the ether is that I am I dissatisfied with my current career path. Which is not to say that I'm ungrateful - I am happy to be employed in this economy. But it's like a pair of golden handcuffs; I am finally making a living wage, but I'm not anywhere near gainful employment. I feel undervalued and I'm not making enough to pay my minimum student loan amount.
I have learned a lot about leadership & that is truly inspiring, but the environment is sterile. I don't like anyone I work with and I cringe at their FB pics & statuses. I find myself mentally correcting their grammar all day. I feel like I am becoming a jaded asshole.
Yet, no matter how much I dread showing up there each day, it's one of the best jobs I've ever had. I feel like I don't deserve anything else - shit, I feel like I don't even deserve THIS.
I am hoping to wake up some day soon with balls big enough to go out & get what I need, want, deserve, and love!! So, Universe, do your stuff but please don't make it hurt.
The reason I want to put this notion out into the ether is that I am I dissatisfied with my current career path. Which is not to say that I'm ungrateful - I am happy to be employed in this economy. But it's like a pair of golden handcuffs; I am finally making a living wage, but I'm not anywhere near gainful employment. I feel undervalued and I'm not making enough to pay my minimum student loan amount.
I have learned a lot about leadership & that is truly inspiring, but the environment is sterile. I don't like anyone I work with and I cringe at their FB pics & statuses. I find myself mentally correcting their grammar all day. I feel like I am becoming a jaded asshole.
Yet, no matter how much I dread showing up there each day, it's one of the best jobs I've ever had. I feel like I don't deserve anything else - shit, I feel like I don't even deserve THIS.
I am hoping to wake up some day soon with balls big enough to go out & get what I need, want, deserve, and love!! So, Universe, do your stuff but please don't make it hurt.
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