OCD About My Feet

From the time I was two, I have been extremely particular about what shoes I will or will not wear. If they were uncomfortable in any way, they came right off! If my shoes were tied and I felt different tightness between the two, or if they were too tight or too loose, I would have a fit until it was fixed. I demanded to be shown how to tie them, and when I couldn't figure it out, I would just tie 800 square knots. My mom would get SO pissed at me for wrecking shoelaces! I was never so relieved when I finally mastered tying the bow. Then I would double and triple tie them to ensure that they wouldn't loosen up throughout the day.

I never grew out of it. I am still a complete spaz. I will tie my shoes, walk two steps, adjust, repeat for as long as it takes to make it right. I hate shoe shopping for this reason, so I usually wear slip-ons so I don't have to embarrass myself in every shoe store in the mall.

I threw out my favorite pair of flip-flops because they're so ugly and not very good support (but better than some because they were from the men's department and had a nice molded footbed). For years I've always worn Birkenstocks, but ever since last summer i realized that if I want to be more outdoors-ey I need something I can wear in the water. Begin sandal odessey...

This is really boring, so feel free to skim.

I bought some expensive-ass Merrills on my honeymoon, but after wearing them for several days I noticed that the little ridge that's supposed to sit just behind the toes was actually under the ball of my foot. Ugh. I was out like 65 bucks. Then I searched and searched and finally settled for some Columbias on clearance for 15 and they got me through the rest of the summer. This year I continued the search and bought some Chacos. Great footbed, but when my feet sweat, I slide right out the front of the sandal, unless the straps are REALLY tight so I just took them back after giving them a good wash. Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same thing--I was not about to be out 90 dollars. A few weeks later I tried again, this time with Teva. They felt okaaayyy, but if my feet got sweaty, I slide around in them and can't get a grip. Conversely, when my feet are dry, the little tentacle pattern of the foot bed suctions my foot to the shoe which is super uncomfortable. Grrr, another fuckin 80 dollars I'll never get back. I tried SO hard to love them, I really did, but dammit, I just don't! Back to the drawing board. Meanwhile, all summer I've been wearing those 15 dollar sandals and they're still real comfy--that is, once they stopped wearing the skin off my toe knuckles. Despite this, I decided to try again with a new pair of them in black.. So far I still really like them, I just have to put up with the worn off skin...

But now fall is coming soon and I will be out searching for some nice loafers for work which will be several more hours shopping and returning. It really pisses me off sometimes. I get so aggravated when I see women at work walking around in their four-inch heels like it's nothing. Or if my friends show me their cute new shoes--that I will never be able to wear... Why couldn't I have been born a man? Seems to me like that would solve it.