This Is What the City Bus Does To Peoples' Faces

The Bus Face. It's an art, perfected over time. I've been working on mine for 20 years. Gotta be tough if you don't want drunk weirdos and crack fiends sharing your seat. Tough, but not crazy--you don't want fuckers thinking you're a bird of their feathers. Just tough enough so they know not to even waste their time asking you for money. Tough enough so that they won't feel temped to pull their dick out of their pants and wiggle it at you to see what you'll do. You want that face to say, "Nuh-uh."

This first pic I call "Don't sit with me." It's my general go-anywhere bus face. Works on all busses, all times of day--just enough a.m. crabbiness to avoid small talk with other downtown commuters, for the ride home it looks like the day was rough, and at night it looks like i might go off, you never know.












Now, this one is if I accidentally make eye contact. Eye contact is the wide open door for some fuckhead to feel he's been invited for a chat, so it must be countered with a look that says, "Save it." This face is also good for someone trying to get my attention who I cannot ignore.












Amazingly enough, not everyone can effectively read body language. This is my face when I am literally saying, "Dude. You need to go sit someplace else."