Super Fuckin' Right On Hell Yeah!!!

I spanked that series 63's ASS! Not really, but I passed it at 76%. No more studying, stressing, or sleep dep! I feel better than when I graduated college because there's no "what now?" to anguish over. I ran their gauntlet and now I get to keep showing up to my job, keep my benefits--which rock, p.s., and there's plenty of space to work my way up!

Ladies and gentlemen! A moment please! I would like to take a moment to announce that I will NEVER have to work retail AGAIN! (Provided G-d doesn't take this opportunity to strike me down for my lack of humility. Hopefully all of my gratitude will make up for it.)

So I am celebrating at my local dive coffe house with a lukewarm, extraordinarily sweet cup of coffee heavy on the cream. My toes are cold. Hey what's that smell...? Why do I come here? Oh yeah, because this is where the cool kids hang out. Kidding, I don't know why I come here. No, yes I do. They have really good coffee. But they don't have food, unless you can be satisfied with a three year old bag of M&Ms for lunch (which I am not, so I went to Subway first).

I think I also come here because the baristas have that perfect amount of surlyness and stellar customer service. The woman who's tending the counter right now is this real sturdy woman with a mass of black curly hair piled up on top of her head, big ol' jewelry in her ears. Whenever I walk in she'll look at me with a frown and angry eyebrows and say, "What can I git'cha babe?" I love it. She's my fave.

Anyway, I'm listening to a loud-fast mix I made last week of metal and punk, heavy on the estrogen please, thank you, and just enjoying my day in general. I'm getting paid eight hours for an hour and a half of testing with a three day weekend ahead of me. AND tomorrow's payday.

Uh-oh, school's out. This place is going to fill up quick with annoying kids. I hate teenagers. I want kids of my own, but not if they're going to be teenagers. Fuck that, pack your bags if you're even THINKING about being a destructive little vandal theif bastard! Yeah, I'm talking to you, you teeny eggs hiding out in my warm little ovaries! It's a cold, cold world, so don't get too comfortable! You just wait till your father gets home--his little men are going to get the same speech!