Letgo My Ankle!!

Everything I have ever suspected about Twiggy has proven true. I already knew that she thrives on conflict and gets off on animosity more than artists get off on ennui (although I’m sure her home life is littered with ennui). But now since I put in my notice, I noticed she’s the kind of person who does the old “emotional transference” trick. Most people, when confronted with strong feelings of dislike for another will generally disconnect once they hear that the other is leaving. No big deal, no harm, no foul. But this lady is one of those who seems to like to just re-file Feeling A into the Feeling B drawer. Now that I’m getting the H-E-double hockey sticks out of here, she has suddenly become all gushy and overly friendly. I understand she’s probably excited I’m leaving, but now all those strong feelings are making her want to try to be my little buddy. Eeew.

I had a boss like that once. THAT crazy bitch would ride my ass and micro-manage every move I made, from how I bagged up groceries to how fast I counted down my drawer. Sometime she’d get frustrated and would just grab things out of my hand. She would even charge into the bathroom to call us out of the stalls if we were taking too long (i.e. going #2). I would stand up to her all the time, but none of the other chickenshit cashiers would ever back me up. Anyway, the point is, she was the same way. She had to terminate me for missing a mandatory work meeting and she bawled over it and was hugging me goodbye and telling me to keep in touch. Coo-coo! Coo-coo!

And that’s pretty much my life story. I was blessed with a “big personality” to go along with my big butt, and people sometimes respond strongly. At every point along the way there has been some kind of high- strung ankle-biter figure viciously snarling and salivating, trying to bring me down. When I decide to move on, they turn it around and want to be best friends forever. What’s a girl to do? People are fuckin’ crazy.