Saturday, October 22, 2011
My Happy is Broke
I really love autumn in Minnesota, so why doesn't my body?? I've been sleeping 7-8 hours per night during the week & 10 on weekends. I've been pumping my bloodstream with 15K ui of Vitamin D per week and taking multis on top of that. I've cut back on caffeine. I have been keeping my work hours under 50. I get outside & do physical activity on the weekends. I bought a fancy new phone. I wear comfortable shoes. SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM?!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Because I Dare Not Say it Out Loud...
I'm sitting at Ginelli's eating my lunch, eavesdropping as usual. The 50 year old dude next to me is whining about how his parents favor his brother. Hasn't he had 30 years of adulthood to get over that? I suppose if you're 50 & still concerned with who gets more love from your parents you're not going to recognize that this might be the reason WHY they like you less.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Occupy a Foot in Their Ass
Call me cynical, but these Occupy & 99% demonstrations protesting "Corporate Greed" are missing the mark. The only thing they are demonstrating is their ability to paint a million and one picket signs. They have no agenda, and the only threat is that if we don't pay attention to them they're gonna stand around & yell some more.
First of all, how is a disjointed mob of people going to stop "Corporate Greed"? Their million & one painted signs have lots of slogans where they should have demands. None of this occupying of public space is going to throw the proverbial monkeywrench in the churning cogs of capitalism.
To hear the talking heads at Fox refer to this phenomena as "class warfare" is absolutely ludicrous. Let's be clear: class warfare is the motherfucking French revolution. Heads literally rolling in the blood-soaked streets. These protests are just giant bitch sessions. Cathartic as they are for those participating, the refrain from the 1% & their payroll politicians is, "I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one!"
Protests are supposed to stand as the warning for "give us what we want or else". Or else what?? What DO we want? What are we willing to sacrifice to get it?? Civil disobedience will not persuade lawmakers to legislate jack shit. Except maybe new restrictions on our first amendment rights.
The organizers & demonstrators are missing the elephant in the room - pun intended. Corporations, and the wealthy leaders who run them, respond only to the almighty dollar. Ironically, the dollar that made them strong is also their Achilles heel. The MARKET drives change, and WE ARE THE CONSUMERS.
Women's "liberation" (a loaded term, but I won't digress) was driven as much by pissed off man-haters with hairy armpits practicing "consciousness-raising" by lookin at their hoo-hoos as it was by consumerism. Advertisers figured out that it was mainly women who had the control over household spending and started marketing goods and services directly to them. This increased their power in the market which increased their power in the public sphere.
To continue on this train of thought, I firmly believe that we can still derive social power from where we spend our money. Or, more specifically, where we DON'T spend it. Consider what would happen if everyone got out of debt & closed ALL their credit accounts.
The banks would be left scrambling. They would no longer be able to justify consumer interest rates of 25% when the fed funds rate remains below 0.25%. Right now revolving credit is way too easy to get so those of us who are carrying balances & making our payments are covering all the losses from the defaulters. Then they make money again by selling the bad debt off to the lowest bidder to collect on. They are actually profiting MORE by lending to high risk consumers. They WANT us to fail!
I say fuck them. I am going to pay off all this revolving credit, my car loan, and my student loans if it kills me. After that, I'm only going to spend money I already earned. I'm sick of forking over huge chunks of my hard-earned cash to huge institutions who don't deserve it.
And what would happen if most of the US did that? I think this could quickly shift the balance of power because if we start by strangling the banks of their lifeblood & stop pumping money that we DON'T HAVE into the economy, we can limit the upward accumulation of wealth.
I dare you to tune out the talking heads, ignore the polarizing rhetoric, and turn your attention to whatever is making your financial life chaos. Yes, it's probably their fault we're in this position but no one is forcing us to stay here.
We CAN hit them where it hurts and drive the changes we need if we are willing to make sacrifices. Not the painful sacrifices like medicare, social security, & public education that the mega-rich are calling for. Make sacrifices that will actually benefit you and your family: quit throwing money away (smoking, drinking, eating out, gambling), trade the car in for a cheaper model, take on a roommate to help with the mortgage & bills, pair up with a friend who works an opposite shift & swap kids to save on daycare, carpool or bus to work, fix up your old stuff instead of buying new stuff, or even buy someone else's stuff.
I realize it is not politically correct to encourage further contraction of the economy by slowing our spending, but it should be obvious that the strength of our economy is exaggerated. We're out there earnestly spending money we haven't even earned yet trying to keep this ship afloat. Meanwhile we are slipping further & further behind as inflation is driving real wages down, and jobs are being eliminated by the hundreds of thousands. If our massive spending hasn't saved the economy by now it's just not going to.
If we are conscientious about where we spend the money we do have, the right kinds of businesses will thrive; organic farmers, small businesses, companies who treat their employees fairly, environmentally responsible manufacturers, and alternative energy providers. The dinosaurs will either adapt or go extinct.
By each of us doing what's right for our communities, ourselves, & our families we could turn the tide in ONE generation - and without having to carry a single picket sign!!
First of all, how is a disjointed mob of people going to stop "Corporate Greed"? Their million & one painted signs have lots of slogans where they should have demands. None of this occupying of public space is going to throw the proverbial monkeywrench in the churning cogs of capitalism.
To hear the talking heads at Fox refer to this phenomena as "class warfare" is absolutely ludicrous. Let's be clear: class warfare is the motherfucking French revolution. Heads literally rolling in the blood-soaked streets. These protests are just giant bitch sessions. Cathartic as they are for those participating, the refrain from the 1% & their payroll politicians is, "I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one!"
Protests are supposed to stand as the warning for "give us what we want or else". Or else what?? What DO we want? What are we willing to sacrifice to get it?? Civil disobedience will not persuade lawmakers to legislate jack shit. Except maybe new restrictions on our first amendment rights.
The organizers & demonstrators are missing the elephant in the room - pun intended. Corporations, and the wealthy leaders who run them, respond only to the almighty dollar. Ironically, the dollar that made them strong is also their Achilles heel. The MARKET drives change, and WE ARE THE CONSUMERS.
Women's "liberation" (a loaded term, but I won't digress) was driven as much by pissed off man-haters with hairy armpits practicing "consciousness-raising" by lookin at their hoo-hoos as it was by consumerism. Advertisers figured out that it was mainly women who had the control over household spending and started marketing goods and services directly to them. This increased their power in the market which increased their power in the public sphere.
To continue on this train of thought, I firmly believe that we can still derive social power from where we spend our money. Or, more specifically, where we DON'T spend it. Consider what would happen if everyone got out of debt & closed ALL their credit accounts.
The banks would be left scrambling. They would no longer be able to justify consumer interest rates of 25% when the fed funds rate remains below 0.25%. Right now revolving credit is way too easy to get so those of us who are carrying balances & making our payments are covering all the losses from the defaulters. Then they make money again by selling the bad debt off to the lowest bidder to collect on. They are actually profiting MORE by lending to high risk consumers. They WANT us to fail!
I say fuck them. I am going to pay off all this revolving credit, my car loan, and my student loans if it kills me. After that, I'm only going to spend money I already earned. I'm sick of forking over huge chunks of my hard-earned cash to huge institutions who don't deserve it.
And what would happen if most of the US did that? I think this could quickly shift the balance of power because if we start by strangling the banks of their lifeblood & stop pumping money that we DON'T HAVE into the economy, we can limit the upward accumulation of wealth.
I dare you to tune out the talking heads, ignore the polarizing rhetoric, and turn your attention to whatever is making your financial life chaos. Yes, it's probably their fault we're in this position but no one is forcing us to stay here.
We CAN hit them where it hurts and drive the changes we need if we are willing to make sacrifices. Not the painful sacrifices like medicare, social security, & public education that the mega-rich are calling for. Make sacrifices that will actually benefit you and your family: quit throwing money away (smoking, drinking, eating out, gambling), trade the car in for a cheaper model, take on a roommate to help with the mortgage & bills, pair up with a friend who works an opposite shift & swap kids to save on daycare, carpool or bus to work, fix up your old stuff instead of buying new stuff, or even buy someone else's stuff.
I realize it is not politically correct to encourage further contraction of the economy by slowing our spending, but it should be obvious that the strength of our economy is exaggerated. We're out there earnestly spending money we haven't even earned yet trying to keep this ship afloat. Meanwhile we are slipping further & further behind as inflation is driving real wages down, and jobs are being eliminated by the hundreds of thousands. If our massive spending hasn't saved the economy by now it's just not going to.
If we are conscientious about where we spend the money we do have, the right kinds of businesses will thrive; organic farmers, small businesses, companies who treat their employees fairly, environmentally responsible manufacturers, and alternative energy providers. The dinosaurs will either adapt or go extinct.
By each of us doing what's right for our communities, ourselves, & our families we could turn the tide in ONE generation - and without having to carry a single picket sign!!
Monday, October 03, 2011
Gastric Band & Gastric Bypass for the Do-It-Yourself-er On a Budget*
Step 1: obtain tummy control shapewear & wear daily
Step 2: throughout the day consume foods that give you a slight case of gas buildup in the stomach. Diet soda, broccoli, slightly under-ripe bananas, beans, etc.
Step 3: eat meals in a sitting position. If you have done this correctly, you will find it difficult to consume an entire meal.
Repeat daily or as often as desired.
For bypass, repeat steps 1-4 and add two fiber gummies daily. Warning: you must also increase your water intake and supplement vitamins & minerals.
*Not intended as medical advice. This post is intended solely for entertainment purposes... It entertains me to give you a stomach ache.
Step 2: throughout the day consume foods that give you a slight case of gas buildup in the stomach. Diet soda, broccoli, slightly under-ripe bananas, beans, etc.
Step 3: eat meals in a sitting position. If you have done this correctly, you will find it difficult to consume an entire meal.
Repeat daily or as often as desired.
For bypass, repeat steps 1-4 and add two fiber gummies daily. Warning: you must also increase your water intake and supplement vitamins & minerals.
*Not intended as medical advice. This post is intended solely for entertainment purposes... It entertains me to give you a stomach ache.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Misery
Moving house sucks. I feel like I was hit by a truck & Annie Wilkes took a sledgehammer to my feet. I considered calling in sick but then I realized that I would just do more work & abuse my body even more if I stayed home. I figured I may as well just go to work all day where I can be plenty productive in my organized little cube sitting on my ass. You know it's bad if work wins.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Moving. Again. Already. Yarg!
This time we're moving out to hubby's childhood home to live with his recently widowed father. A very sad event earlier in the summer that we're still working through.
I'm looking forward to living there but dreading the move. I was supposed to have been packing all week but Monday I was tired, Tuesday I got home late & only packed 2 boxes, and last night I was about 2 boxes in when I encountered THIS shit.
I thought it was a brown widow, but hubby thinks it's a common cobweb spider. But how common could it be if I've never seen anything like it before?? F.
And of course I am now blogging instead of packing because I am a tool.
I'm looking forward to living there but dreading the move. I was supposed to have been packing all week but Monday I was tired, Tuesday I got home late & only packed 2 boxes, and last night I was about 2 boxes in when I encountered THIS shit.
I thought it was a brown widow, but hubby thinks it's a common cobweb spider. But how common could it be if I've never seen anything like it before?? F.
And of course I am now blogging instead of packing because I am a tool.
More trip photos
Cornish breakfast spread: black tea with milk, scones, jam, & Cornish clotted cream - much tastier than it sounds!
The other pic is of the best sign I've ever seen!
The other pic is of the best sign I've ever seen!
Cristini P Big Adventure Chapter 2
We've been experiencing a living musical and getting a big kick out of it. I don't know what it's like in the whole of England, but the Cornish burst into song quite frequently and I'm learning a bit about their history in tin mining & fishing by listening. I've never visited any place where the people are truly proud of their home turf and want to show us all their favorite spots.
On Friday we were treated to a delicious dinner after the wedding rehearsal at the Masons Arms. After dinner Jon's uncle led a group in a 3 song candlelit serenade. There wasn't a dry eye in the place.
Next day was the big event - the whole reason for the big journey across the pond. Rachel & Jon were married in Advent Church in Camelford, which was beautiful & charming for it's simplicity. The priest was very funny and warm which made the service very personal & memorable. When he asked if there was anyone present who has a reason that they should not be lawfully wed to speak now, he quickly snapped his book shut & declared, "Well I didn't hear anything!" And during the vows when Rachel & Jon were getting emotional he interrupted the recitation with, "Well now don't start or you'll have me off!" Then at the end when he pronounced them husband and wife, he started with "You may now..." and had us all finish the sentence "...kiss the bride!" which was a cute surprise for Rachel & Jon.
The reception was held at the beautiful Falcon Hotel in Bude. They have a gorgeous garden out back & is located right near the coast. Between the dinner & dessert Pat & I snuck out for a walk to the beach where I got out of my shoes & splashed my bare feet around in the edge of the Atlantic for the first time.
After desert I actually got Pat to slow dance a few songs with me - yes, really! I spent the remainder of the night dancing my hiney off and enjoying the time getting to know Jon's family.
Today was more family time at Jon's uncle's birthday barbecue & beach combing at Polzeath; incredible scenery & the most welcoming hosts. I can't wait to post all the pictures!
On Friday we were treated to a delicious dinner after the wedding rehearsal at the Masons Arms. After dinner Jon's uncle led a group in a 3 song candlelit serenade. There wasn't a dry eye in the place.
Next day was the big event - the whole reason for the big journey across the pond. Rachel & Jon were married in Advent Church in Camelford, which was beautiful & charming for it's simplicity. The priest was very funny and warm which made the service very personal & memorable. When he asked if there was anyone present who has a reason that they should not be lawfully wed to speak now, he quickly snapped his book shut & declared, "Well I didn't hear anything!" And during the vows when Rachel & Jon were getting emotional he interrupted the recitation with, "Well now don't start or you'll have me off!" Then at the end when he pronounced them husband and wife, he started with "You may now..." and had us all finish the sentence "...kiss the bride!" which was a cute surprise for Rachel & Jon.
The reception was held at the beautiful Falcon Hotel in Bude. They have a gorgeous garden out back & is located right near the coast. Between the dinner & dessert Pat & I snuck out for a walk to the beach where I got out of my shoes & splashed my bare feet around in the edge of the Atlantic for the first time.
After desert I actually got Pat to slow dance a few songs with me - yes, really! I spent the remainder of the night dancing my hiney off and enjoying the time getting to know Jon's family.
Today was more family time at Jon's uncle's birthday barbecue & beach combing at Polzeath; incredible scenery & the most welcoming hosts. I can't wait to post all the pictures!
Cristini P Big Adventure Chapter 1
We are finally in Cornwall after travelling a full 24 hours Wednesday/Thursday plus an additional 5 1/2 hours today. Wow! I've never had jet lag before but it basically feels the same as staying up all night dancing, except of course that you wake up somewhere that you purposely set out to be.
Least favorite part: Iceland. We were completely under-dressed, it was about 50 degrees, rainy, and very windy. The air smelled like rotten eggs due to volcanic off-gassing. The prices of everything were insanely high: think $22 usd for 2 small croissant sandwiches & 3 vitamin waters. Egads! The ONE redeeming thing about that brief excursion was an itty bitty cafe we stumbled into called C is for Cookie. AMAZING. And reasonably priced as it was half a mile up the hill from the tourist strip.
Biggest surprise: not liking Iceland.
Favorite part:
The English countryside really is as picturesque as it's shown on PBS! Except that there are far more residential zones dotted around in the rolling hills. I can't tell you how many little neighborhoods I saw in the center of big cow pastures--basically people were grazing dairy cows in their back yards.
I'm so excited to be here with my hubby & family! Rach & Jon's rehearsal dinner starts in about an hour & a half at this place called Masons Arms. Pat & I took a sneak preview for lunch & the place is so cool. The walls are the original stone & mortar with the stones having been polished & blackened from centuries of human friction. The ceilings are wood beams, oily & dark, and very low - Pat had to stoop through the doorway & could not stand straight up in the place.
I can't wait til the wedding tomorrow @ Advent Church! Many of Jon's relatives have been married there & the church itself is about 900 years old.
What an amazing place to see my little sister take her vows, and what a sweet hospitable family she is marrying into!
Least favorite part: Iceland. We were completely under-dressed, it was about 50 degrees, rainy, and very windy. The air smelled like rotten eggs due to volcanic off-gassing. The prices of everything were insanely high: think $22 usd for 2 small croissant sandwiches & 3 vitamin waters. Egads! The ONE redeeming thing about that brief excursion was an itty bitty cafe we stumbled into called C is for Cookie. AMAZING. And reasonably priced as it was half a mile up the hill from the tourist strip.
Biggest surprise: not liking Iceland.
Favorite part:
The English countryside really is as picturesque as it's shown on PBS! Except that there are far more residential zones dotted around in the rolling hills. I can't tell you how many little neighborhoods I saw in the center of big cow pastures--basically people were grazing dairy cows in their back yards.
I'm so excited to be here with my hubby & family! Rach & Jon's rehearsal dinner starts in about an hour & a half at this place called Masons Arms. Pat & I took a sneak preview for lunch & the place is so cool. The walls are the original stone & mortar with the stones having been polished & blackened from centuries of human friction. The ceilings are wood beams, oily & dark, and very low - Pat had to stoop through the doorway & could not stand straight up in the place.
I can't wait til the wedding tomorrow @ Advent Church! Many of Jon's relatives have been married there & the church itself is about 900 years old.
What an amazing place to see my little sister take her vows, and what a sweet hospitable family she is marrying into!
Sadly Stupid Charity (June 2011)
On a walk down Nicollet Mall today I stopped for a canvasser since having done that job I was sympathetic. He was working for a group called Child Fund International, and explained it was a secular nonprofit dedicated to helping kids. The example he used was intriguing: with help from donors the organization was able to keep 500 Kenyan girls in school past puberty by paying off their dowries. The other thing that caught my ear us that they sponsor U.S. children (though he admitted "I don't have a U.S. kid on me right now, so I'll have to get one from one of the other guys").
As I'm flat broke right now, I asked if I could sign up for a later time, which he explained was possible because the organization calls to confirm prior to processing. Up to that point I was sold so I gave my name, address, and phone. But then he asked me for my credit card number.
Hear that record needle scratching across the vinyl signifying a screeching halt? I told the curly mop-headed 20-something with overgrown toenails in thong sandals, "don't take it personally, but I just met you." He pressed further that I can be assured of the security of the transaction based on the following: He doesn't need to see the card, and will not take down the security code from the back; before any charge is processed, a representative will call me to authorize it; and it's just as safe as doing it online, but with a lower donation cost.
He sincerely promised that he always brings his paperwork straight back to the office and shreds the form as soon as he puts the info into the system. He also showed me the photocopy of a letter from some municipal official, along with the icon of the BBB that was printed on his organization's full color info sheet. And he pointed out the police officer across the street, assuring me that if he was out on the sidewalk for nefarious purposes, surely the officer would have already removed him.
As he was searching my face for a sign he had convinced me, I explained to him that though he looks trustworthy, we are in the middle of downtown. We were surrounded by any number of people who, if they knew he was carrying around a bag full of credit card numbers, would gladly knock him over to take them. Interrupting his argument that he does not keep the 3 digit code from the card, I explained that I once did a stint as an independent consultant for a home party vendor where I ran peoples' credit cards without needing any code, and highlighted my vast experience paying bills and shopping online to convince him that a person rarely needs the 3 digit "security" code on the back of a credit card to charge a purchase against the number on the front.
Having refuted the hippie into submission, I had the think-space to wonder who this guy is representing. I promised him I would sign up online, but now I'm asking myself why I should support an organization that practices such an irresponsible fundraising strategy. What organization does not respect their donors' need to have their personal information kept secure? And charges an invisible premium to its online donors to pay the canvassers and who knows what else?
After further research I now know who. Child Fund International is merely a secular incarnation of the Christian Children's Fund. You know, the one with the weeping Sally Struthers and the dejected looking children with flies crawling on their eyeballs. Absolutely legit, but have since removed the church affiliation so they could have a bit more wiggle room around the whole bearing false witness thing. Oh, and all that stuff about coveting.
As I'm flat broke right now, I asked if I could sign up for a later time, which he explained was possible because the organization calls to confirm prior to processing. Up to that point I was sold so I gave my name, address, and phone. But then he asked me for my credit card number.
Hear that record needle scratching across the vinyl signifying a screeching halt? I told the curly mop-headed 20-something with overgrown toenails in thong sandals, "don't take it personally, but I just met you." He pressed further that I can be assured of the security of the transaction based on the following: He doesn't need to see the card, and will not take down the security code from the back; before any charge is processed, a representative will call me to authorize it; and it's just as safe as doing it online, but with a lower donation cost.
He sincerely promised that he always brings his paperwork straight back to the office and shreds the form as soon as he puts the info into the system. He also showed me the photocopy of a letter from some municipal official, along with the icon of the BBB that was printed on his organization's full color info sheet. And he pointed out the police officer across the street, assuring me that if he was out on the sidewalk for nefarious purposes, surely the officer would have already removed him.
As he was searching my face for a sign he had convinced me, I explained to him that though he looks trustworthy, we are in the middle of downtown. We were surrounded by any number of people who, if they knew he was carrying around a bag full of credit card numbers, would gladly knock him over to take them. Interrupting his argument that he does not keep the 3 digit code from the card, I explained that I once did a stint as an independent consultant for a home party vendor where I ran peoples' credit cards without needing any code, and highlighted my vast experience paying bills and shopping online to convince him that a person rarely needs the 3 digit "security" code on the back of a credit card to charge a purchase against the number on the front.
Having refuted the hippie into submission, I had the think-space to wonder who this guy is representing. I promised him I would sign up online, but now I'm asking myself why I should support an organization that practices such an irresponsible fundraising strategy. What organization does not respect their donors' need to have their personal information kept secure? And charges an invisible premium to its online donors to pay the canvassers and who knows what else?
After further research I now know who. Child Fund International is merely a secular incarnation of the Christian Children's Fund. You know, the one with the weeping Sally Struthers and the dejected looking children with flies crawling on their eyeballs. Absolutely legit, but have since removed the church affiliation so they could have a bit more wiggle room around the whole bearing false witness thing. Oh, and all that stuff about coveting.
The Sasquatch Guide to Summertime Stinky Feet (June 2011)
If you're a Sasquatch like me, then you probably experience the jubilation for the return of warm weather with a slight overcast of dread: warm weather means stinky-ass feet and countless episodes of foot-shame.
Over the years I've learned a few tricks that I think are valuable enough to share...
1. Ventilation! No, not rolling down the car windows or leaving your shoes outside. SANDALS. If you are just a junior Sasquatch, this might solve most of your issues straight off the bat. But if you're a full-bore stinker read on...
2. Not just any sandals will do. Suede, microfiber, and fabric in general are not your friend. What works for me are sandals that you can wear in & out of water. Teva, Columbia, Keen, Chacos, Crocs, whatever makes you happy so long as they have an impermeable footbed.
These are SO much easier to keep clean!! I'm a daily sandal wearer in summer and my Birkenstock years were my stinkiest (the unshaven pits weren't helping I suppose). The water sandals only need to be washed once or twice a week, and if you keep them clean your feet will be almost stink-free.
There are all kinds of sandal soaps out there but save your money--they're expensive, have awkward-to-use bottles, and don't even work. I've heard of people using bleach water solutions, but I'd pass on that since it'll damage the shoes and it won't remove grime. The shoe guy at the Roseville REI uses laundry detergent and puts his sandals in the machine on delicate, but he must not be as much of a Sasquatch as he looks because this method didn't work for me at all.
What finally worked for me?? DAWN ANTI-BACTERIAL DISH SOAP. No kiddin. Get yourself a long handled, soft-bristle dish washing brush and scrub up your sandals with dish soap. The soap breaks down the yucky foot grime, the brush gets into all the little textures without damaging the materials, and the anti-bacterial will keep away the stinky longer.
3. If you feel compelled to wear regular shoes without socks though you be a stink-foot, then only buy shoes with removable insoles. This is so you can pull them out & wash them. The best ones are inside of running shoes so I keep them after the shoes wear out. I've found a lot of shoes have foam rubber insoles glued to the bottom of the shoe and are easy enough to pluck out without wrecking anything. Wash these in the laundry after each time you wear them like you would your underwear. Which is why I say to keep spare pairs from old sneakers.
I hope this moment of sharing TMI helps prevent some other poor Sasquatches out there from feeling the humiliation that comes with smelly feet! Go forth and walk with confidence!!
Over the years I've learned a few tricks that I think are valuable enough to share...
1. Ventilation! No, not rolling down the car windows or leaving your shoes outside. SANDALS. If you are just a junior Sasquatch, this might solve most of your issues straight off the bat. But if you're a full-bore stinker read on...
2. Not just any sandals will do. Suede, microfiber, and fabric in general are not your friend. What works for me are sandals that you can wear in & out of water. Teva, Columbia, Keen, Chacos, Crocs, whatever makes you happy so long as they have an impermeable footbed.
These are SO much easier to keep clean!! I'm a daily sandal wearer in summer and my Birkenstock years were my stinkiest (the unshaven pits weren't helping I suppose). The water sandals only need to be washed once or twice a week, and if you keep them clean your feet will be almost stink-free.
There are all kinds of sandal soaps out there but save your money--they're expensive, have awkward-to-use bottles, and don't even work. I've heard of people using bleach water solutions, but I'd pass on that since it'll damage the shoes and it won't remove grime. The shoe guy at the Roseville REI uses laundry detergent and puts his sandals in the machine on delicate, but he must not be as much of a Sasquatch as he looks because this method didn't work for me at all.
What finally worked for me?? DAWN ANTI-BACTERIAL DISH SOAP. No kiddin. Get yourself a long handled, soft-bristle dish washing brush and scrub up your sandals with dish soap. The soap breaks down the yucky foot grime, the brush gets into all the little textures without damaging the materials, and the anti-bacterial will keep away the stinky longer.
3. If you feel compelled to wear regular shoes without socks though you be a stink-foot, then only buy shoes with removable insoles. This is so you can pull them out & wash them. The best ones are inside of running shoes so I keep them after the shoes wear out. I've found a lot of shoes have foam rubber insoles glued to the bottom of the shoe and are easy enough to pluck out without wrecking anything. Wash these in the laundry after each time you wear them like you would your underwear. Which is why I say to keep spare pairs from old sneakers.
I hope this moment of sharing TMI helps prevent some other poor Sasquatches out there from feeling the humiliation that comes with smelly feet! Go forth and walk with confidence!!
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