I Love Halloween!

I Love Halloween!

 

I like to watch all the spooky movies, my all-time favorite being The Changeling with George C. Scott.  I love carving pumpkins, and I am going to try to talk my sick hubby into doing this tonight but he tends to be a bit of a spoil-sport when he's full of snot. And I am SO excited for the live Ghost Hunters marathon episode on Friday!

 

Last weekend we joined hubby's friend Nick and Nick's LTGF Kate to a Halloween haunted-house thing called "Scream Town."  I learned that I don't do any better with these now than I did as a child.  Even though it was pretty hokey I still had my hubby's hand in a vice grip and I even peed myself a little.  I'm sure Nick and Kate think I'm lame now, but I guess having creepy costumed people jumping out of the dark isn't for everyone.   

 

There were four features but I begged out of the third because it was just too much for me even watching from afar this chainsaw-wielding maniac chasing each group out of the exit.  Really I was done after the second one (where I peed), but got talked into going through the fourth attraction that was, for me, the worst of them.  Partially because my nerves were shot and I had a wet spot in my undies, but mostly because of the strobe lights and the narrow, 8-foot high, day-glo orange hazard fence maze full of horrible clowns that I had to squeeze past.  One of them wouldn't leave me alone even after I pushed his rubber nose in (I was warned earlier, "No touching ma'am").  Then I started to get dizzy and nauseated from the lights so Hubby escorted me out of the emergency exit with mister clingy-clown right on his heels.  Good times...

 

I always thought it would be the coolest thing ever to go ghost hunting with all the cameras and gadgets, but now after this weekend...  Although, real ghosts are less likely to wield chainsaws or wear rubber masks, so I still really want to try it! I'll just wear a leak guard. 

I love "F" words, especially "Ffffffr...

I love "F" words, especially "Ffffffrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiday!"

 

Today my direct supervisor came by to ask me to hit her with a question about our job that I might be afraid to directly ask senior leadership, and I couldn't think of anything.  She looked at me quizzically and asked, "You sure there's nothing on your mind?"  I told her there's plenty on my mind, but nothing I would ever be afraid to ask. I told her exactly what my concerns were around how company performance is going to play into our salary and bonuses for next year.  Why would I be afraid to ask that question? 

 

I've never been afraid to speak my mind to superiors, even to the point of getting myself into trouble.  I remember attending employee meetings at Whole Foods and all the cashiers would be pissed off about something and spout off about how they were "totally gonna bring it up in the meeting."  Of course no one would so I would appoint myself advocate and speak up.  And when the leaders would push it back to the group to see who else felt this way... crickets.  Bunch of chicken shits.

 

But not everyone has been telling people how it is since the minute they learned to talk.  Throughout my early r'epertoire you will find such hits as, "You have pimples ALL OVER your face!  Didn't you hear me? I SAID..." and "That lady is FAT!" and the oh-so-memorable encounter with the crazy lady on the bus with the enormous "Big Bird" sunglasses, "Look mom, a MOVIE star!"  You would think that I would have grown out of this, but no.  Fast forward to me at 15 in a blackout after drinking half a pint of Blue 100 sitting next to some guy at a party, "God, you have PUBIC hair growing out of your HEAD!" and laughing maniacally. 

 

Lesson learned: the courage to speak your mind is just as often a curse as it is a blessing.  In those moments I am still blessed with being in the presence of people with a great capacity for compassion who understand that I am just an idiot. Like that poor death-metal-loving-trench-coated soul I was harassing said to me, "Yeah, I get that a lot." From the whole blacked out night this is one of only a few episodes I remember and I felt like a total ass the next day.  Even now I'm lucky enough to have a husband who can tolerate my spouting off--to a point. 

 

So, you know, (gum smacking) I'm working on using my powers for, like, good instead of evil (envision me channelling Roseanne Barr there if you will). And I think it's especially useful at work because if I don't stand up for myself, who will? Granted I have to curb certain tendancies and exercise diplomacy that does not come naturally if I want to HOPE to keep my job.  

 

Without a job, Fridays are meaningless!
 

Sit On It, Wipe It, Flush It Down

I'm working in a building partly inhabited by people who are not properly toilet trained.  Every time I walk into a ladies' room on some floor other than the one I work on, I have to evaluate several stalls like I'm Goldilocks; this one's too poop-smeared, this one's too pissed on, this one's too clogged with fifty paper seat covers... Ah, this one's just right because the goddamn door doesn't close.  Corporate life is the shit!  That was a pun...

The Numbers Are In

I learned this week that our call volumes are up 600%.  No wonder I'm so tired and cranky and gained 10 pounds.  People have been pulled out of their regular jobs from across the company who used to work on phones as far back as five years ago to pinch hit for us.  Basically they will help reduce wait times, but we'll have a huge mess to clean up correcting all their errors.  And then it will be tax season, oh goody.

You would think I'd be feeling secure in my job right now from the high demand, except we are busy at the work of losing money hand over fist.  I'll likely be the violinist fiddling away as the ship goes down like those poor fucks on the Titanic.

Palin: about as smart as a box of hammers... only twice as chatty...

If she were interviewing her for a job, and this was her response, I don't think even Best Buy would hire her.

"Of course, we know what a vice president does. And that's not only to preside over the Senate and will take that position very seriously also. I'm thankful the Constitution would allow a bit more authority given to the vice president if that vice president so chose to exert it in working with the Senate and making sure that we are supportive of the president's policies and making sure too that our president understands what our strengths are...

"... our founding fathers were very wise there in allowing through the Constitution much flexibility there in the office of the vice president. And we will do what is best for the American people in tapping into that position and ushering in an agenda that is supportive and cooperative with the president's agenda in that position. Yeah, so I do agree with him that we have a lot of flexibility in there, and we'll do what we have to do to administer very appropriately the plans that are needed for this nation."