Two Wheels Are Better Than Four... So Are Six... Or Ten

Lately there have been so many articles in the news about rising gas prices and consumers being pissed off about it. It seems clear in my simple mind that the solution would be to drive less, but what do I know? I mean, no one forced these assholes to live in some suburban cul-de-sac in the far reaches of the urban sprawl zone. Riding the bus into downtown each morning I look out the window at the highway; one hulking mass of vehicle following the other, each carrying ONE occupant, and not a one of them getting past second gear.

If they're going broke they have no one to blame but themselves. They should all be abandoning their autos at the city limits-- drive to the park and ride, drive to the bike way! Better yet, live near the place you work... for Christ's sake people! (And that's not taking the Lord's name in vain in this context because the Pope recently declared polluting a sin.) They're spending hundreds of dollars each month ONLY because they're selfish, self-absorbed, and think somehow that they are too good to ride a bike or a bus. But come the rapture, they'll be the first to perish in the pyre and heaven only has bus stops and bike parking.

Season of the Shit-Storm

Tax season has finally passed us and I am now able to begin to pick up the tattered scraps of my sanity and move on. It was my first tax season and it sucked harder than a Catholic school-girl on a banana in front of her math teacher. Bitch-bitch-bitch day in and day out. All I did for the first two weeks of April was eat, sleep, and work. I got run down, got the flu, got stir crazy, got REAL cranky.

Then the SUN CAME OUT. I got to JOG--twice! I went for a really long bike ride for which my ass is still paying. I took a prescheduled sick day in the middle of the week. By golly, I feel nearly human again! And now I have a random three day weekend to look forward to, might be a waste of a PTO day, but fuck it. A day away from the phone is a day away from the phone.

The Weather Channel is predicting low-mid 50s for the whole weekend. Not what I'd call pleasant, but not quite cool enough too keep me holed up indoors in front of the TV set. I think another ridiculously long bike ride is in order... no idea where the hell I'd go, but I bet I can think of something. Maybe bike through the east side ghetto over to my mom's if I feel brave. Nah, I'm too scared of little thuglets packing heat who loiter on the corners, and most of my city's convicted sex offenders live in that zip code. Ok, so not the smartest idea I ever had, but now that I've had it I won't have it for the first time on Friday and think it's a good idea.

Gaaaaawd I don't want to go to work tomorrow, I have too keep reminding myself "It's a paycheck it's a paycheck." SO until next time America"... just kidding.

Post-Fever Delerium, or Things Only I Think are Funny

Calling my hubby Mr. McPancakes
The mental image of a man with juicy raisins stuck all in his hairy butt crack
Sitting quietly next to someone you know and suddenly shouting "Boo!" at them and making them jump
Watching people fall down
Pantsing people and slapping their cheeks
Watching dudes walk and thinking about their flaccid weiners wagging around in their trousers
Conversing with people who are talking in their sleep
Talking in the voice of Stan's older sister Shelly (South Park) in public
Narrating what the dog in the car ahead of ours might be thinking

TBC.....