City Girl Gets Out of Town

This weekend I packed up and left town with my friend Jenn and some of her man’s people. We camped and canoed in Wisconsin on the Namekagon River. I haven’t tried to canoe since I was a Brownie Scout and back then it was a traumatic experience because we kept tipping over. Hubby’s been trying to get me out canoeing for, oh, FOUR years but I was scared to go. Silly me…

There were a couple of challenges, of course. The first and most formidable was TANYA. I was going to change her name, but I couldn't think of a clever nickname, so whatever, she made me crazy. It was nonstop yammering and interrupting to change the subject while others were trying to have a conversation, and she got completely hammered on her Ice House beer and smoked cigarettes all night. If I had to pick one word to describe her it would probably be TIRESOME.

I had never met her before so I tried to dismiss her general rude self-centeredness, but the conversations she was trying to force onto people were just stupidly controversial without any sophisticated nuance—like abortion and assisted suicide, and her opinions bordered on fascist eugenics. When she wasn’t trying to play devil’s advocate and pissing people off, she was just plain inappropriate—like when she announced that we were going to play Truth or Dare and tried calling people out on what kinky places they’ve had sex, gross! We all stood frozen looking wide-eyed at each other and no one answered. I thwarted her efforts by taking a different angle on the “dirty secrets” she wanted people to tell and changed the subject to poop stories. She happily obliged in telling everyone one of her poop stories in gory detail, but I think everyone was just relieved to be out of the Truth or Dare hot seat.

This woman was incapable of not talking. Seriously, no listening skills and the attention span of a gnat. She wouldn’t even shut it when we actually shushed her to try and hear the pack of coyotes that were howling and yapping down the river, but she just kept talking! “Do you think those are coyotes or wolves? Maybe they’re just dogs… I don’t think there’s anything to worry about though…cluck-cluck… bok-bok…” Gawd! I could hardly hear them!

The next day, though, all of this was gratefully set aside once we got packed up and set out for the canoe rental place. While he was getting us signed in, Jenn’s husband was double checking our route and got feedback from the clerk that the route he’d planned was only 2 ½ to 3 hours long, so he changed the route to the 3 ½ to 4 hour trip. We were not informed that the river was low until we were in transit, and this came from the bus driver.

It was somewhere around ninety degrees and clear as a bell, so we all slathered ourselves in sunscreen with an spf 30 and piled into the canoes. The river we paddled down was a protected area and was absolutely beautiful! We learned from the campground volunteers that this river was home to some dragonflies that can’t be found anywhere else in the world. I couldn’t tell you which ones, but I saw plenty of all different sizes and colors—and they were getting BUSY! They were just flying around stuck together crashing into everything. The whole route we were also in the company of great blue herons, bald eagles, trout galore, and even one beaver and a muskrat.

The second challenge came along when we stopped for a rest after four hours and we didn’t realize something was very wrong until the guys looked at the map. We had only covered eight of our thirteen miles! The river was SO low that we kept bottoming out in ankle-deep water every ten minutes and having to get out and drag the canoes to deeper water. This made our trip twice as long.

Then when someone discovered that one of the rental oars was missing in action, we were pretty much ready to give up. Jenn’s hubby and brother-in-law considered hitchhiking on the road to get back to the rental place, but decided that there was no guarantee that it would result in us getting back to the cars and on the road any sooner than just finishing the course.

Since there was one paddle missing, I volunteered to be a duffer since I was getting some heat exhaustion and feeling woozy. So we started out on the last stretch of this treacherous puddle-deep river, and lo-and-behold several yards down river the damned rental oar was seen floating near the bank. Someone paddled over to grab it, but I just kept on duffing. I wasn’t about to paddle yet.

I thought of Tanya over there paddling away in her canoe all hung over and dehydrated on no sleep and burned to a crisp, and I almost felt bad about sitting there in the middle of my canoe doing nothing. But then I realized that she’s a grown woman and if she hasn’t noticed that she’s in bad shape, there’s not much I can do. So I duffed some more.

But only for a while because as a result of the new seating arrangement, Jenn’s man was paddling alone in the small canoe, but he got tuckered out after an hour or so. When he asked if I felt good enough to paddle, I was, so it was Jenn to the rescue for her hubby and I got back in the driver seat and paddled my ass off until we reached our landing. Whew!

Despite last weekend’s challenges, I will absolutely be doing this activity again! I had a great time even though it wiped me out—you should have seen me Monday, what a disaster! Tanya or no Tanya, I’m totally there.

We Got It

I feel like a kid at Christmas! I couldn't sleep last night I'm so damn excited!

Snakes Part II, Cue the Ants

We're moving. The pests are never ending and I don't want to be here if some roaches decide to move in. The snakes are back, and now we also have big black ants all over. We've been finding more little moths here and there so we kill them on sight, but since we don't know where their new secret hideout is, we can't completely get rid of them.

We looked at a nice apartment in the heart of our favorite neighborhood, two steps from everything. It's BIG--two bedrooms plus a front sunroom--so Hubby and I won't be within five feet of each other at all times. We turned in our applications and now we're just waiting to hear back. This is my least favorite part.

Invasion

Sneak Preview

BAGS!

I am SO naughty. I bought myself a new bag from Timbuk2. I chose the build-your-own option and made it orange/steel/steel with a steel logo. It looks so cool. I can’t wait for it to show up. Hubby’s going to be crabby because I chew his ass for doing stuff like this all the time.

We’re both addicted to bags. We have bags--messenger bags--all over the house in different sizes, styles, and colors for various functions. I’m actually buying this one to replace one that’s about ten years old that I’ve been “borrowing” from Hubby for the past three years. At one time I did have one this size myself, but we sold it because after a while the charm of orange and silver ballistic nylon wore off for me, and it just sat in the bottom of the closet.

The small size red and black ballistic nylon bag I’ve been using is too small and it doesn’t hold up as well, it looks sort of dirty and frayed. But the medium sized cordura bag that I stole from Hubby doesn’t show its wear as much—it’s just that there is danish icing and cat puke caked on the bottom, then Hubby tried to scribble out the yellow logo with a black marker so now it’s this dirty pea green, and it’s missing its reflectors and side strap.

We have three Chrome bags which are über sturdy and ergonomic, but the bag actually hugs your upper back —which is great on a bike, but it’s HOT as hell. We swore off Timbuk2 because they have leak potential in the rain from the gap between the flap and the bag, but I love that I can choose whether to carry the bag in the middle of my back or at my hip. The quality is lower, but sometimes less is more, y’know?

Other Things Going On in My Life:

One of my little sisters has been in the hospital for a surgery evaluation for her seizures all weekend
Today is another little sister’s birthday
A different little sister bought a condo in Chi Town
I’m anxiously awaiting my six-month review and possible pay raise
My cold sore finally went away, but it left an awful scar
Now I have an itchy rash
I painted a picture that I dreamed about, and worked some more on a previous painting
I’m getting pretty good at framing my own canvasses
I’m not getting any better at cleaning my apartment—I have heaps of laundry crowding up the bedroom that need to be either washed or put away, and all the surfaces in the bathroom are crusted over with hairspray. At least I did most of the dishes.
Hubby’s friend’s wife had a nine pound baby
Paris is back in jail: nanny-nanny-boo-boo (I don’t even know why I care)
Hubby started his new job today
I’ve been skipping my Wednesday meetings to watch Ghost Hunters with Hubby—we’re obsessed