Buh-Bye Brain Cells

I can feel them popping like popcorn in the microwave. I am studying my head right off!

I feel like a really low-grade computer. I am trying to cram in so much information that my brain overloads and just shuts off so I can't stay awake. Not only am I studying for 7.5 hours out of my work day, but then I get home, pack up the computer and I'm off again and don't get in till way past my bedtime. It feels like there are clouds IN MY BRAIN.

So far I like the company and I hope I make it through the exams so's I can keep my job. The group is really diverse through all levels of operation, which is way better than I can say for some of the other jobs I've had. I don't exactly fit the white suburban corporate mold, so I look around and am encouraged to think there might be some other folks who think like me. Every office I've ever worked in, the women have mashed potatoes for brains and the men are snotty a-holes. I do not spend my out of work time shopping or sitting around TGI Friday's, so I've never made any lasting connections at those jobs. God forbid I should want to talk politics with other women!

If it's not obvious, I am way procrastinating on the studying I need to get done tonight for a big test tomorrow.

Wouldn't Ya Know It?

Of course the company I just started with still employs my least fave ex-boyfriend. We decided to be "just friends" but he trampled all over my boundaries and picked petty arguments with me just like when we were dating, so I told him I didn't want to be friends anymore. He had a dismaying inability to grasp that concept. His argument was that "we didn't talk about it" and that he didn't agree with my decision. Uh, ok. I don't need your permission to move on, BUD.

I've been walking around the building with my antennae up just in case, but then it got annoying so I asked security and they confirmed. Ack! I hope I never see him, but I don't have that kind of good Karma.

Today is My Last Day!

Last day as a temp. The company I'm working for threw me a going away breakfast of gourmet bagels. Pretty nice. But I think they just wanted an excuse to have some free breakfast.

But seriously folks, this day is just dragging on and on. Normally my work day down time is filled with blogging, surfing, emailing, Bookworm, and Tetris, but my successor temp has been here since yesterday. He was fully trained for this job by, oh, 10am yesterday! So instead of doing my usual screwing-off routine, I am wandering around looking for things to do. Today my job is to go through the entire catalogue section of the library (this is an advertising agency, so you can just imagine) and toss out everything older than spring of '05.

Here's me: flip, flip, toss. Flip, flip, toss... Skim, skim, "Hmm, I should get me one of those..." toss.

I feel sorry for the poor fucker that has to try to lift the recycling bag out of THAT bin. It'll be 300 pounds by the time I'm done. The catalogue library is looking pretty skeletal already. But, I should add, I DON'T CARE. HAHA HAHA!

I think I will go online today and sign them up for a crapload of catalogues. The first one that comes to mind is "Good Vibrations." Then maybe I'll charge some susbscriptions to the company account like "Adbusters."

For the past two days some General Mills suits have been having secret meetings in our conference room--shhh you didn't hear it from me--and by the looks of it, they must think they're a bunch of rock stars at the fuckin' Las Vegas Hilton. They completely trashed a perfectly nice conference room.

There's so much junk food in there I'm surprised no one's gone into a diabetic coma. Cookies, donuts, croissants, cinnamon rolls, bowls of candy, candy bars, chocolate-dipped pretzels, malted milk balls, soda-pop, chex mix, salted pretzels, potato chips! Jeezis! The fruit and veggie trays were virtually untouched, and they barely picked at their box lunches. Aren't they supposed to be pushing WHOLE GRAINS? They obviously know fuck-all about nutrition, so I'm not buying their shit anymore.

Letgo My Ankle!!

Everything I have ever suspected about Twiggy has proven true. I already knew that she thrives on conflict and gets off on animosity more than artists get off on ennui (although I’m sure her home life is littered with ennui). But now since I put in my notice, I noticed she’s the kind of person who does the old “emotional transference” trick. Most people, when confronted with strong feelings of dislike for another will generally disconnect once they hear that the other is leaving. No big deal, no harm, no foul. But this lady is one of those who seems to like to just re-file Feeling A into the Feeling B drawer. Now that I’m getting the H-E-double hockey sticks out of here, she has suddenly become all gushy and overly friendly. I understand she’s probably excited I’m leaving, but now all those strong feelings are making her want to try to be my little buddy. Eeew.

I had a boss like that once. THAT crazy bitch would ride my ass and micro-manage every move I made, from how I bagged up groceries to how fast I counted down my drawer. Sometime she’d get frustrated and would just grab things out of my hand. She would even charge into the bathroom to call us out of the stalls if we were taking too long (i.e. going #2). I would stand up to her all the time, but none of the other chickenshit cashiers would ever back me up. Anyway, the point is, she was the same way. She had to terminate me for missing a mandatory work meeting and she bawled over it and was hugging me goodbye and telling me to keep in touch. Coo-coo! Coo-coo!

And that’s pretty much my life story. I was blessed with a “big personality” to go along with my big butt, and people sometimes respond strongly. At every point along the way there has been some kind of high- strung ankle-biter figure viciously snarling and salivating, trying to bring me down. When I decide to move on, they turn it around and want to be best friends forever. What’s a girl to do? People are fuckin’ crazy.